Dear America,

Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Digital Television, and thanks to your incompetance, you will not be seeing me across all channels for another six months. 

You see, our fine goverment has given you money to upgrade your antennas for those of you without cable… unfortunatley, more people than we thought were without cable, because the program ran out of money.

So guess what – you still don’t have a tv that works.  That’s right… your’re still rolling with that console unit you got at Montgomery Wards before they went out of business and Circut City looked like the emporer of electronics (note to readers, Circuit City is going out of business, imagine the irony). 

What does this mean? Well it means that you still are not going to see my glorious deliver of millions of colors in HD quality for another 6 months.  It means you’re still going listening to things in stereo, and not the surround sound delicacy to your ears you could be experiencing.

Do I blame viewers soley? Absolutley not.  Education is partly to blame.  Look at your friends at PBS.  The ones that educate you on the ways of the world with all their lovely programming to keep you top of mind and so, so smart.  They’re not ready. Nope. Still not broadcasting in HDTV.  In fact, they were one of the reasons, to the tune of 22Million dollars, that DTV has been delayed.  Thanks a lot Snuffleupagos.

This means that we have another 6 months of annoying ass commericals begging you to upgrade your tv.  This means we have another 6 months of crappy analog programming cluttering our airwaves.   This means that crappy cable companies like Suddenlink who server the booming suburb of Pflugerville get to skate by on crappy technology and a weak infrastructure.  This also means that our dear friends Fox 7 can hold out even longer from upgrading to an HDTV News Cast… not that were watching them anyway, but still.  Dave Cody wasn’t ready for the clarity HDTV was going to bring to his make up job and receeding hairliine.

Bitter, party of one, your table is now ready.

Special shout out to my girl Kay Bailey Hutchison for helping delay the start of DTV.  Guess she’s rolling with her console from Sears & Roebuck & Co.

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